Some years ago I came up with a book title that is sure to become a best-seller: Judaism is not for Children. It is about the phenomenon we find in contemporary religious schools that teach an unsophisticated Judaism aimed at making Judaism fun and appealing for children. We tell cute stories about spiders and sing cute songs about Noah’s Arky-Arky, and for the most part stay away from using the word G-o-d. When our children grow older, one of two things happen: Either they stop showing up after B’nai Mitzvah, so their mental understanding of Judaism is frozen at a rudimentary 7th grade level, or they continue into a middle/high school program focused in developing universal values under the rubrik of “Tikkun Olam” and never get back to learning the difficult, sophisticated, problematic, compelling parts of Torah or figuring out the connection between God and prayer, God and Torah, or God and themselves.
Synagogues also share some of this responsibility, by multiplying theme Shabbat services and family services and entertaining musical extravaganzas. God forbid the theme of Shabbat should be Shabbat or even Torah. It’s chocolate, Leonard Cohen, Martin Luther King, Jr., challah-making, cheese around the world, Bruce Springsteen’s birthday, National Ice Cream for Breakfast Day (the first Shabbat in February), or Yoga, preferably with goats. It’s not only synagogues. When I sit down with a group of clergy to plan the Interfaith Thanksgiving service, the first thing on the agenda is a discussion of the theme of this year’s service. Every year I suggest Thanksgiving, but that’s not enough. Synagogues entertain small children while boring their parents to tears. The moment the B’nai Mitzvah happens, parents disappear along with their children. God forbid the service itself might prompt people to examine their lives. We need more guitars, more percussion a bigger cello, put a mic on the flute, and hire clergy who sing in 4 part harmony, lest there be moments of quiet when congregants might be alone with their thoughts.
When Purim is focused on the carnival, it becomes a holiday for children, not adults, except for the parents who count down the years until they don’t have to retrieve one more child from one more bounce house. When the Passover seder is designed to appeal to the attention span and intellectual level of a child, what happens when the child grows up and leaves the house?
We underestimate the power of our tradition. We underestimate the power of a covenant with God that asks us to devote our hearts, souls, and might to living it. Maybe we are a touch embarrassed if we were to appear to be too religious, too “orthodox,” as if devoting ourselves to a serious religious practice is not consistent with living 21st century lives. Maybe we’re afraid that believing in the truth of religion is inconsistent with believing in the truth of science.
Judaism is not for Children. Judaism is serious, sophisticated, deep wisdom. Children can’t hope to understand its depths. We cannot teach it to them with the expectation that they will understand all of it without gutting Judaism in the process. We can only give them a glimpse into the majesty and the mystery of Judaism and tell them that someday, when they grow up, they will be able to experience its full power. Please, dip your toe into it, try it out, feel the power of unraveling a 3500 year old tradition. Now, all I have to do is write the book.
Hebrew Words of the Month:
- Hadar – majesty
- Hod – magnificence
- Rommeimut – grandeur
Embodied Torah 