Divre Harav – Words from the Rabbi

Divre Harav – February, 2025

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The changing religious shape of Jerusalem and Israel

I had dinner with some friends in Israel who made aliyah last year. They are a typical religious family living in South Jerusalem in the neighborhood of Arnona-Talpiyot, not too far from the future site of the American Embassy. Their children, two of whom I met at dinner, had preceded them in moving to Israel. I spoke to the two daughters about their post high school service to the country. As a matter of law, young women are obligated to do military service. However, religious women are automatically exempted from any service. One daughter accepted the exemption from the army and did alternative national service. She explained there wasn’t even a question in her mind of whether to volunteer for national service. Israelis serve their country after high school and that’s why she didn’t take full advantage of the exemption. The other daughter, who served in the army, explained that she didn’t qualify for the exemption because she wasn’t religious. I was impressed by her honesty. She lives with her parents in a religious household, so she basically conforms to religious norms. She could have signed a statement to this effect and accepted a full exemption. But she felt the strong pull of a young Israeli to do regular army service.

From what I observed and from what other friends told me, this is typical of the fluid religious atmosphere of South Jerusalem and other parts of Israel where religious and secular live side by side. The lines between religious and non-religious are not as clear as they once were. Religious families need not be ultra-nationalists living deep in Judea and Samaria in order to feel a sense of patriotic duty to the state. The non-Orthodox gather in small groups for Shabbat and to celebrate holidays. The Conservative/Masorti movement is growing slowly, but the number of informal, grass-roots, egalitarian, minyanim is exploding. People want community and if the official state rabbinate is not going to provide a type that fits their needs, a Jewishly well-educated, Hebrew-literate, public need only gather ten or more like-minded people in a public or inexpensively rented space and create it themselves. Best of all, it is fueled largely by native Israelis as much as North American immigrants.

A generation ago, common wisdom suggested that every Israel was Orthodox, even if they were completely non-observant. Today, they may not be familiar with the non-Orthodox movements, but they understand what it means to be shiv’yoni, egalitarian. The founding generation of Israel was militantly secular, and society clearly divided Ashkanazi and Mizrahi from one another. Today’s generation has thoroughly mixed Jews of European, Asian, and North African descent (central African Jews are still working towards full inclusion), and the secular population has an appreciation of Judaism from a secular school system infused with Jewish texts and traditions. There are still neighborhood and isolated areas populated by a kind of 18th and 19th century Judaism, but for the most part, socially and religiously, Israel has leapt gracefully from the 19th to the 21st century.

In a visit overshadowed by the dark cloud of war and the gloom of hostages held in Gaza, the energy of Jerusalem’s religious life was a beam of sunshine.

Hebrew word(s) of the Month:

  • Tz’va Haganah L’Yisrael (typically abreviated as Tzahal) – Israel Defense Force
  • Sherut Le’umi – national service
  • Masorti – “traditional.” The name of the Conservative movement of Judaism in Israel and worldwide.
  • Shiv’yoni – “egalitarian”

Divre Harav – January, 2025

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Question: How many day of Hanukkah will there be in 2025? 
Answer: Ten!

This is a companion riddle to the question, How many days of Hanukkah were there in 2024?
Answer: Six!

Of course, neither the length of Hanukkah nor the size of the Hanukkah menorah change from year to year. The years that Hanukkah crosses the secular new year are just a reminder that we live our lives as Jews with one foot in the civil calendar and one foot in the Jewish lunar-solar calendar. But Jews had been living dual lives for over 500 years before the creation of the calendar based on the Christian counting of years. During the Babylonian exile, some Biblical months known simply by number adopted the contemporary Assyrian/Babylonian names (the fourth month became Tammuz, the fifth month became Av). Other Biblical month names were dropped in favor of the contemporary names (Nisan replaced the Biblical Aviv, Iyar replaced the Biblical Ziv, Tishre replaced the Biblical Eitanim, Marheshvan replaced the Biblical Bul).

The privilege of setting the calendar belongs to the dominant culture. They determine days of rest and holidays. The minority cultures within tend to adopt their calendar because it is necessary to share a common frame reference to time with our neighbors. But we also retain our own calendar to remind ourselves that we march to the beat of a different drummer.

We celebrate Tuesday, December 31 and Wednesday, January 1 as ‘Rosh Hodesh,’ the beginning of the month of Tevet, with songs of Hallel in our morning prayers. Why two days? Because a lunar month is 29.5 days. When a Jewish month is 30 days long, the new moon actually begins near the end of the last day of the previous month, so both that day and the first day of the next month are celebrated.

This month, our calendar directs us to commemorate the beginning of the Babylonian siege against Jerusalem in 589 BCE on the 10th of Tevet (Friday, January 10). The month of Tevet in Akkadian/Babylonian means ‘muddy.’ Tevet falls in the middle of the rainy season. This makes sense – in Israel, Tevet is the rainiest month.

Next month, we remember the 15th of Shevat as the day that trees become one year older (Thursday, February 13). The name of the month comes from an Akkadian word meaning “strike,” also referring to heavy rains striking the land during the winter season.

Each year, we remember the death of loved ones on the anniversary of their death on the Hebrew calendar. To do so is to recall their death and observe Jewish rituals of memory in the context of our calendar, our counting of the months and days.  I encourage you to observe the Yahrtzeit by saying Kaddish on the Shabbat prior to their Yahrtzeit. And if you are able to help gather a minyan on the day of the Yahrtzeit itself, our custom is to say Kaddish on that day as well.

Yes, we are westernized Americans and we live according to the civil calendar. But in order not to forget our indigenous Jewish roots in the Tanakh and in the land of Israel, we should also live our lives according to the rhythms of the Jewish calendar.

Hebrew word(s) of the Month:

  • Kislev, Tevet, Sh’vat – the winter months
  • Adar, Nisan, Iyar – the spring months
  • Sivan, Tammuz, Av – the summer months
  • Elul, Tishre, Marheshvan – the fall months

Divre Harav – November, 2024

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Cultivating gratitude begins with the reflex ‘thank-you’ that parents teach children. We teach children to say thank you when someone gives them a gift or does something nice for them. We tell them to say thank you. We might even force them to say thank you by threatening to take back the gift. We know that very young children say thank you only because they have to and not because they feel a sense of gratitude. Nonetheless, it is an important first step in building a practice of gratitude. The Jewish source for this comes from the Talmud [Sanhedrin 105b], regarding Torah study or doing mitzvot, mitokh shelo lishma, ba lishma, “from doing something not for its own sake, one will come to do it for its own sake.”

Ultimately, though, we want to cultivate a real, deep sense of gratitude. We’d like for the practice of saying thank you to be an expression of the gratefulness we feel in our souls, not just a barely remembered reflex. This begins with an attitude of how we do things for others. Take a lesson from Pirke Avot [1:3]:

“Do not be like servants who serve the master in the expectation of receiving a reward. Rather, be like servants who serve the master without the expectation of receiving a reward.”

When we volunteer, help others, serve others, or do acts of kindness simply because we want to help, or because it is the right thing to do, or even out of a sense of obligation or commandedness, we cultivate a habit of not expecting the reward of a ‘thank you.’ Any gratitude we get back is an unexpected bonus, a delight to be appreciated and savored. This leads us towards a deeper sense of appreciation for the kindnesses others do for us with no expectation of reward. Because we know how it feels to get an unexpected thank you, we are more likely to feel a deep sense of gratitude, and the thank you that we offer will flow from depths of our soul.

In short, the path to becoming a more grateful person begins with doing quiet acts of kindness for others. Anonymous gifts of tzedakah, bringing a meal to someone experiencing some kind of difficult situation, volunteering to help with a synagogue program or support a minyan, or sit with a friend in a time of need.

Some people, at their Thanksgiving table, have a practice of going around the table and sharing something that they are thankful for. Maybe this year, try instead to share a moment when you received an unexpected gift of gratitude, and a moment when you gave someone the gift of an unexpected thank you.

Hebrew word(s) of the Month:

  • • Modeh Ani L’fanekha – A piece of the morning liturgy, “I am grateful to you …”
  • • Todah – thank you

Divre Harav – September, 2024

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We’re about one month away from the fall holidays. During the month of Elul, beginning on Wednesday, September 4, one month before Rosh Hashanah, our tradition encourages us to engage in introspection.What kind of person do I want to be? Where is there room for growth and improvement? Where have I been holding on to grudges or unresolved issues? How can I correct the course of my life and become kinder, more loving, more forgiving? How can I better reflect the Divine spark within me?

Some people make it a point to journal during Elul. Each evening, before going to bed, spend 5-10 minutes writing about something you did well that day and some place you fell short and hope to improve on. You might consider writing or revising your ethical will, a letter (doesn’t have to be long) articulating some lessons you’ve learned in the course of your life, and moral guidance and hope for future generations. My colleague Rabbi Steven Abraham of Beth El Synagogue in Omaha, Nebraska, offers the following questions to get you started:

  • What are each of our core beliefs and values?
  • How have these beliefs and values manifested themselves in our lives? Are there further ways we’d like them to?
  • What teachings from our parents, grandparents or siblings that speak to us do we want to pass on?
  • What two or three life lessons need to be written down?
  • What are we grateful for in life?
  • Sometimes imagining that you only have a limited time left brings to mind the things in life that are truly important – what are those things for you?

You might also devote a few minutes a day to reading and learning more about the spiritual practices of Judaism and its holidays. Here are a few website to look at. You can sign up for weekly email to bring a bit of learning right to your inbox.

  • ExploringJudaism.org – this is a new project of the Conservative movement, with a growing number of articles reflecting traditional Jewish practice in today’s world.
  • Myjewishlearning.com/ – At more than 20 years old, My Jewish Learning is a granddaddy of Jewish learning websites.
  • Sefaria.org/community – Sefaria is primarily a library of Judaic texts, but also has a library of articles on topics of holidays, Jewish thought and values, mitzvot, and Torah study.

Elul prep for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur can be seen as a kind of self-care for one’s soul. Just as you bring your car into the shop for regular oil changes and tune-ups, and you maintain your home HVAC system, changing filters regularly, your body and soul need attention as well. Marisa joins me in wishing you a joyful high holiday season.

Hebrew word of the Month:

  • Heshbon Nefesh – An accounting of the soul
  • Tzava’ah – An ethical will

Divre Harav – Summer, 2024

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Beginning mid-June, I will be taking six weeks of Sabbatical time. It has been about four years since my last Sabbatical. My pattern has been to take three months of Sabbatical every five years, but I am hoping to split this next Sabbatical into two – six week segments, over the course of two years. With Stuart’s retirement, it is more difficult to be away for three months at a time. It will not be easy covering the six weeks between June 16 and July 28, but between Stuart Rapaport, Rhonda Reider, Dovid Ben-Avrohom, a small additional crew of Torah readers and service leaders, and with your help making the minyan, it is possible. If you would like to help out by sharing a d’var Torah during the service, you can do so at http://tinyurl.com/CAITorahSignup. A d’var Torah should be about 12 minutes.

We are always looking for additional help reading Torah, more Haftarah readers, and people willing to lead a portion of the service. If you are interested in learning, I can connect you to resources, including audio recordings, that will help.

I am hoping to spend Shabbat in congregations in New Jersey, Minneapolis, metro-Detroit, and Indiana to learn new melodies and gather some ideas for enhancing Shabbat practice and community. In addition, I will continue working on a collection of brief introductions to pieces of prayer for Shabbat and holiday mornings. On my Shabbat travels, in exchange for hosting me, I have offered the congregations several book talks on Psalms or prayer, based on my book Reflections on the Psalms. I will be sharing some of that material at our Tikkun Leyl Shavuot evening program on June 11. Don’t forget to make a reservation! 

Beginning this month, I will be on Sabbatical for three months. It is a common practice of rabbis and other clergy to be given a periodic Sabbatical from their regular duties for reflection, for rekindling the spirit and the sense of calling by God, for reconnecting more deeply with the tradition (Scripture, theology, liturgy), and for deepening one’s own spiritual life. While on Sabbatical, I will not be available for my normal Rabbinic duties. I will not be coming into the office, attending meetings, or scheduling appointments. I will not be taking phone calls or responding to email for routine questions. I will not be teaching, leading study groups, leading services, or giving Divre Torah. The office will refer calls or email either to the president or to the appropriate committee.

Clergy organizations suggest that a Sabbatical should not be heavily structured. The idea is to have free time for unexpected projects and learning. The one exception I will make in a normal Sabbatical practice will involve officiating at funerals, if I am in town. However, during normal office hours the initial phone call regarding a funeral should go the office. At other times (weekdays 7:00 am – 10:00 am and 3:30 pm – 10:00 pm or weekends), please call Ann Berman. After the basic funeral arrangements (include date and time) have been set, I will be contacted. If I am available, I will contact the family to speak about the funeral service. Otherwise, Stuart Rapaport or another appropriate person will handle the funeral service.

Hebrew word of the Month:

  • Shabbaton – Sabbatical